Understanding Why We Attract What We Do Not Want

Beliefs

The sub-conscious mind will process information which it receives by a process of association and reference points, these reference points are what can also be known as "beliefs" and a belief is something which the mind has stored as an experience which it feels is an accurate map of the world. As the mind cannot see the world as it is (but rather just as flickering lights, sounds and sensations) it has to make emotional assumptions in reference to what is observes, which are what we class as beliefs. A belief has 2 parts to it which are

1. The internally photographed situation

2. The emotion connected to it

With this, it is important to remember that we move away from pain and toward pleasure, so if a belief was stored as a inner photograph of a spider twinned with a sense of fear (seeing a loved one cry in fear) the mind can then assign the stress hormones to the spider image and store it as a fear, then in future situations when a spider is seen, it triggers off the same emotions (e.g. fear)

The above understanding then leads us to the next part which is classed as perception is reality. This in base terms means what we perceive in life is real to us, so if we see a spider and we have linked stress hormones to the image, then a fear of spiders is real to us, even though in reality we actually have nothing to fear from a house spider, but the fear will remain until we disassociate the emotion from the image and as the memory that creates the fear is stored in the sub-conscious mind, no amount of conscious disagreement (such as "I'm being silly") will make any difference to the reaction.

The law of expectation

The law of expectation is one of the most powerful a governing belief structures in the human mind, it can set the structure of our life's and determine our level of success in any given area. This law states that

What we believe to be true,

we expect to receive and dismiss alternative realities.

The reason for this is we will always align to our beliefs as that is our only security in life, our beliefs have formed an opinion inside our heads of what it feels can give us the best hope for survival. The flaw here is that it is possible for us to learn information which is incorrect today but may have been the best option at the time.

We can best explain this by using the following example,

Take a small child who completely dependent on their parents was humiliated when young and threatened that if they didn't accept the insults, the parents would disown the child, the child may then form a belief that "abusive people feed me and keep me alive" if the child had not been exposed to good people, they may for the opinion that ONLY abusive people can provide them with food, shelter, water etc...

With this belief in place the child (now an adult) may look for a job and want to buy a house and with the believe that "ONLY abusive people can provide ME with food, shelter, water etc..." they will expect to find people to give them work who display these characteristics. From the outside this may look insanity, but to the mind (which is simply following what it thinks is correct and the best option for survival) it is just simply following a process and beliefs.