Does He Ever Think of Me?

"Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune." -William James

Your relationship is over. You can't go back and you're not going back but you're still wondering, "Does he ever think of me?" So many people want validation to know that the time that they spent with this person wasn't a waste of time. They want to know that they mattered enough that their ex feels bad too. After all why should they be the only one who is hurting?

Well, unless they are brain dead they have to think of you at some time or another. But the reality is it really doesn't matter because you will never really know what they are thinking. It's your ego crying out for validation, wanting them to hurt just like you and hoping you weren't that easy to get over.

To make matters worse, if they are already with someone new, you can barely accept that they can possibly be going on with their life while you are suffering so much. It's not fair, you're in disbelief and you can't get it out of your head.

Well, here's the deal. When you are dealt the hand of heartbreak you have to go through the process of grieving and letting go. It's normal to feel bad, and you will survive. Cry, journal, talk it out and then let it go.

If you continue to dwell on things that you have no control over and if you dwell on the kind of thoughts that make you feel bad you are going to suffer more and hold onto what is causing you pain longer.

So stop the madness in your mind. There is absolutely no way you can possibly know what anyone is really thinking. So why keep torturing yourself by wanting something that you have no way of knowing what the truth is. Even if you had the chance to ask him, he could lie to you and say yes. Or he could say no and it would make you feel worse.

It is truly an exercise in futility. You are spending so much negative energy on thoughts that don't help you. Instead, start to accept that the relationship is over regardless if he's thinking of you or not. Start to pick up the pieces of your life, look forward not backwards and begin the process of healing and moving on.

Each time you start to walk down Is-He-Thinking-of-Me Lane, change directions and put yourself on a path to healing. Know that with every ending is a new beginning. Don't stay so long living in the past that you miss out on what is right in front of you.

Sometimes things just don't work out the way we want them to. But just because your relationship is over, doesn't mean your life is over. This too shall pass sooner rather than later if you begin to let go of the pain and embrace your future.