Anger

Anger Management is something we all need. Do you realize that anger is a necessary human emergency emotion? Some people think anger is destructive because sometimes it can erupt into destructive actions. We have to understand that it is not the anger that is destructive it is the action that has been taken as a result of feeling angry.

The way we deal with our anger is where we have a choice. Let's suppose someone spits at you. A disgusting thing to do. How do you respond? You can cry. You can say to yourself that you deserve to be spit upon. You can think of yourself as unlovable why else would someone spit at you. You are feeling hurt and you are hardly aware of how angry you feel.

Yet we do have choices in such situations. This is where you want to tap into your coping skills. You can spit back. You can run away. You can use words and say how angry you are. You can ask why the person decided to spit on you.

One of the main reasons for strengthening a personal foundation is to feel your internal power. The stronger your foundation the easier it becomes not to personalize and to make use of effective coping skills.

I said earlier that anger is a necessary human emergency emotion. It guides us when people wrong us when we are in dangerous situations. It alerts us to to injustice and when someone has betrayed us. Anger has a useful purpose. It is how we deal with our angry feelings that can get us into trouble.

Some people grew up with rules that said anger is bad and dangerous. They do not learn effective ways to deal with this normal emotion. Instead they learn to bottle it up and they tighten up inside. They may look calm on the outside but their body starts responding with physical symptoms. Yet outwardly they may not even be aware how effectively they have swallowed their angry feelings. Some others hold it in until they can no longer and then the anger may erupt suddenly when the situation may not warrant such an extreme response.

If you believe that anger is a useful emergency emotion then you will permit yourself to feel it and learn to handle your anger in a way that does not hurt you or anyone else.