Essential Building Block of Self Esteem and Self Worth

To increase self-esteem and self-worth requires evidencing an enhanced level of capability and effectiveness within oneself. Each of us needs to feel that burst of satisfaction and pride in achieving a goal or a task we have set ourselves. It feeds all our psychological sensors, but there is even more to it than that.

For some the thought of competing with other people at anything is an anathema. They shrink, sometimes even visibly, at the suggestion. They dare not test their ability against others. So severe can be their fear that they adopt a stance of "No Ability At All." They hide behind the façade of No Ability At All so that they can claim disqualification from competing!

But what does this do to their internal rating of self-worth and self-esteem? First time they use this ploy, it seems like shyness and acceptable humility, yet it is ringing alarm bells around their internal rating and assessment of themselves. And each time they do it after that - and worse, the more often they do it - the less and less they rate themselves. They come to believe their own cognitive propaganda and opt out completely.

And it can be a progressive condition in some unless arrested cognitively. Sufferers can soon become frightened to inter-mingle in situations where one could have to compete. It can then stretch into not even wanting to go out at all.

Others may adopt more cunning mental strategies in self defense. They pretend it is immature or impolite to compete. It is framed as an unnecessary and rather distasteful trait in humankind in the Twenty First Century!

Yet it is very necessary! I would say it is a key component in an individual's cognitive armory. Being able to rate ourselves as comparatively useful and able to contribute to our community is fundamental, not only for the well-being of that community but most particularly for ourselves.

It opens our eyes to how we too can stretch ourselves for the common good.

Yes! This could be described as a diversionary path via humility to achieve greater self-worth and self esteem! But it is far better than taking no path at all. It can often seem to some easier to stretch ourselves for the good of other people rather than ourselves. As long as the strategy is recognized internally by us, that is fine because it does at least provide the cognitive platform to begin competing and improving for ones own sake

Achievement means success. Success brings justifiable pride and happiness. Most important, it means that when we contemplate what it has done for our sense of self-esteem and self-worth, we will be much more inclined to set the bar a bit higher in our next challenge.

Leading Yourself Forward

Imagine you're trotting along in your business, doing everything you think you should be doing, only to discover your compass wasn't pointing to your true north. Your compass was being impacted by the direction that society, family, colleagues, and perhaps even coaches thought you should go in.

One day, you wake up to the reality that you aren't where you want to be even though it all "looks" right on the outside. The problem is it doesn't FEEL right on the inside. At first, you may deny the reality that's setting in, you may try harder to get ahead and stay out there and do what you feel must be done to just keep going (though somewhat blindly), and eventually, you have an experience like I did last week; eventually you truly see what's been happening. And, you allow yourself to feel the pain of the misalignment, of not paying attention to what you were feeling, to squelching that intuitive nudge that was whispering to you over and over again.

Basically, you dive!

But, the most important part of diving is not keeping yourself underwater when you have the tools to propel yourself back up to the surface. So, you may be asking, "What do you mean by keeping myself under water?" What I mean is you could choose (perhaps unconsciously) to keep yourself stuck; to stuff that's going on, to "get busy," to look outside of yourself and blame someone else, to beat yourself up, to affirm to yourself you're "not enough", to doubt if anything you've ever done has mattered, and on it goes.

When you're on this journey of waking up and truly embracing what it means to be a conscious entrepreneur, these moments of "diving" are going to happen, they are part of your ascension process. However, that does not mean you get to stay there, not by a long shot! It is your responsibility to do what you need to do to shift yourself. Conscious entrepreneurs are the rising leaders in our transforming world... but we can't contribute anything if we're keeping ourselves "under water."

So, how can you propel yourself to the surface? I'll share with you what I did in hopes it will help you navigate the narrow passages that rise up on this journey. First, I allowed the painful feelings to rise to the surface, I allowed the tears to flow, I allowed myself to feel what I was feeling and dive into the feeling rather than stuff it down as it welled up inside of me.

I gave myself permission to curl up on the couch in my office and cry, in the middle of the work day! This is not something I've ever allowed myself to do... I had a "rule" that if it's between 9:00 AM - 5:00 PM, I had to work. Well, it became crystal clear to me that curling up on the couch and crying WAS exactly the WORK I needed to do in that moment.

I shared what I was going through with some of my closest friends and soul family, and received their love and support. I didn't try to rush through my process, rather I gently allowed myself to be in it as long as I needed until I felt the light shining through.

As a result, I also discovered that I can give myself the gift of "diving" in the middle of a workday and come back to my desk after I shifted into a peaceful place. I dove, and then returned to the surface to crank out "practical" work with more ease and speed than I ever could have if I didn't allow myself the space to feel what was happening first.

This is what, for me, it looks like to lead myself. I did what I needed to do for me. I went through it on my own, but I didn't isolate myself in the process. I allowed myself time and space (without an agenda) to BE with what was happening. And, I could then do what needed to be done for my business (and my family) even while I was in the thick of my process.

So, let me ask, what would it look like for you to lead yourself out of these narrow passages that arise on your path? How would you move through the doubt, fear and pain to reconnect with and rediscover the magnificent, bright light inside of you?

You are a conscious entrepreneur. You are on a SOUL journey. You are here to awaken. You are here to serve FROM your highest FOR the highest. Learning to lead yourself from the darkness to the light is one of the most important things you can do for yourself, and the world around you.