How to Deal With an Angry Child

Dealing with an angry child can be quite difficult, especially if the anger outbursts happens in a crowded place and you may feel cornered. But even in your own home it can be a real challenge. But there are 5 actions you should always avoid, even though they may be the first things that come to mind, as your frustration level raises.

1. Don't get angry
Fighting your child's anger with your own anger is never going to work. It only heats up already very heated situation, and screaming and yelling at your child will add another unwanted emotion - fear. Your child may temporarily stop expressing the anger vocally, but the anger does not go away, it is only silenced by fear of you. Not a good trade off, if you ask me.

2. Don't hit the child
Even if you are not angry, and you hit your child only to silence the anger outburst and re-gain the control of the situation, this will create a high level of humiliation and fear. Enforcing a behavior by hitting your child will very likely cause another unexpected behavioral problems, such as extreme shyness, socialization problems etc. in fear that you may not be pleased with any behavior that could be linked to loudness, noisiness and such.

3. Don't call your child names
In the heat of the moment, bad words often slip out. Avoid it! You certainly do not want to label your child. He will interpret such labeling as not being loved. After all, you don't call anyone you love names, do you? So don't do it to your child neither.

4. Don't embarrass your child
Embarrassing your child by reminding him of some embarrassing situation from the past ("Stop, or I will spank you on your naked butt like I did at grandma's house when you acted up like this!"), or embarrassing the child by your own action and reaction (placing your hand on child's mouth; sending the child to stand in the corner etc.) will only make him angrier, even if you succeed in silencing the anger. This is especially true in the public, but you should avoid it even in private.

5. Don't reinforce the anger
If you give in to your child's anger, it is guaranteed that such situation will repeat again. Your child will see this as a victory, and use this tactic to get his way. He must clearly know that such behavior is unacceptable and will not help him get what he wants.

Anger is normal, and most of the time healthy emotion. You certainly need to keep the anger outbursts in control, but you will never accomplish that by making any of the 5 mistakes. Avoid them, and you'll see that to deal with an angry child will be much more effective.